Introducing…

I have always wanted a treadmill. Well, not always. In my early teenage years, I wanted a punching bag. I think my parents gave it negative five seconds of consideration and said hell no. It was then that I set my eyes on a treadmill.

Fast forward some years and dreams really do come true! I would like you to meet the newest addition to our family: Sir Charles Barkley Drennen. Sir Charles joined our family this past Christmas, and we welcomed him with open arms! Well, that is until we got him home.

See, it’s a great thought. Long, harsh winters means no outdoor exercising for the majority of the year. What we didn’t realize, is that Sir Charles would be difficult. He has to be on carpet (we have old hardwood floors). He has to be plugged into an outlet that doesn’t also supply an appliance (hello, we live in a tiny apartment not unlike those 400 sq ft Ikea rooms. Every outlet serves a purpose). He’s large (repeat: tiny apartment). He has to be at room temperature (there goes the back porch). So, Sir Charles now is a central part of our home decor. Here is the sequence of events/dining room transition over a few days.

Step 1: Clear the dining area to make room.

Step 2: Take apart the carpet tiles. Some for the table, some for Sir Charles.

Step 3: Bring Sir Charles in from the cold back porch and set him up.

Step 4: Continued set-up.

Almost done!

All done!

It’s definitely an adjustment of decor, but Tom is convinced that when people come into our apartment for the first time, their first thought will be “wow, these people really prioritize fitness.” I happen to think they will think other things, but we’ve agreed to disagree on this one. For those who have not been to our apartment, where the photos are being taken from is next to the front door. So this is very close to what you’d see when you walk in. I’m not 100% convinced this is the final spot for him, but we don’t have many other options.

On a happy note, it is VERY loud for our downstairs neighbor. While I was using it yesterday, she texted me: “Everything OK up there? Sounds like someone is about to come through the ceiling.” This makes me happy because she is quite possibly the most horrible neighbor we’ve had. Her yappy dog barks all hours of the day and night (but mostly night), and her electronics have more bass than what should be allowed. She also can’t be bothered to shovel snow or pick up mail/packages/trash off our porch. We definitely do not like each other.

Oh, and I almost forgot. You’re probably wondering WHY his name is Sir Charles Barkley Drennen. I have chosen this name because the real life Charles Barkley is one of my favorite athletes. I don’t have a great reason beyond that, but I thoroughly enjoy watching him on Inside the NBA. If we ever met, I think we’d be friends. He’s also shed some lbs lately, thanks to Weight Watchers.